There’s a plethora of information online about the pros and cons of screen time for children. Parents and caregivers are recommended to reduce the number of hours a child engages in screen time, and to carefully monitor the content and quality of what’s on the screen. As an occupational therapist working with children, it’s pretty easy to spot children who are given vast amounts of screen time, compared to those that aren’t. Language, attention, play skills, fine and gross motor skills, emotional regulation, and social skills are all heavily impacted if a child spends a large amount of their time behind a screen. Screen time isn’t all doom and gloom though; especially it’s purposeful and a joint activity between a child and caregiver (think Skyping a relative, playing a problem solving game, engaging in making choices and talking about what’s on screen).
The parents I’ve talked to about this seem to know and understand the recommendations, and try their best to limit and monitor the screen time their child engages in. The issue is, we live in a world that is faster paced, and we put increasingly higher expectations on our children (both as parents and as a society). Sometimes, it’s easier, quicker, and less stressful to give your child a screen.
This is something I pay a lot of attention to when out and about. The number of times I’ve seen parents “fix” tantrums, meltdowns, arguments, boredom, or whingeing by giving their child a phone or tablet is simply astounding. These children aren’t learning how to occupy themselves, how to manage their emotions, or how to have gratification or wants delayed or not met. Instead, they are given a distraction. But we can’t be distracted from our emotions and feelings forever, and neither can our children. They do need how to regulate themselves, and that’s a process, not something to be bandaided over with an electronic device.
“Ah, but I only use it as a last resort”, I hear you saying. Which is fine, if it’s true. However, the more we do something, the more familiar and comfortable we are to quiet a ‘disruptive’ child, the more it becomes a habit rather than the exception. Of course there are times when you need to rely on any tool you have in your disposal, to keep yourself sane and get through a difficult moment. But the tools you have are not just electronic.
Which leads me to the topic of this post: Alternatives to Screen Time. On top of general suggestions, I’ve included some common scenarios and my non- screen time alternatives below:
Alternatives To Any Situation
Including home, restaurants, waiting rooms, in the car. I’ve avoided anything that would be too messy or difficult (such as painting or Lego which are both excellent at home activities!):
- Reading or picture books
- Colouring-in books
- Visual toys (such as sand or water timers)
- Conversation. You can print conversation cards like these to get the talking started!
- Puzzles
- Mazes
- Origami
- Mini chalk or whiteboards
- Stickers
- Making things from pipecleaners
- Fidget toys such as these or these
Scenario One: Catching public transport
- Play a game: You can fall back on classics such as I Spy, or take it to another level and create your own form of Bingo. Who will be the first to see someone wear black shoes, to see a baby, to see a blue car, or a stop sign? Games like this can help your child with their attention, memory, communication and visual discrimination skills.
- For younger children, give them something they can move around in their hands and safely put in their mouth. I once saw an 18 month old spend an entire 20 minute train ride playing with a hat while her parents snoozed nearby.
- Public transport can be overwhelming with all the sights, sounds, smells and people bumping into you. If your child needs to “tune out” try over the ear headphones playing music softly, or noise cancelling headphones. Giving your child something else to look at (like a book), or sunglasses and a hat to reduce visual input can also help.
Scenario Two: Crying/tantruming/screaming in public
- Avoid the temptation to stop this as quickly as possible, and help your child through their emotions by using your co-regulation skills. Don’t forget that the reason and emotion behind this behaviour is valid, and that while the behaviour might not be acceptable, the feelings are.
- Remember, saying no is ok! Don’t feel the need to buy something to avoid behaviours or screen time. Prepare your child ahead of time by giving them a job to do, setting a plan for what will be purchased, or helping them towards a goal item through saving.
- Give your child something calming and engaging if they find busy public places overwhelming. For example, time your snack times to coincide with shopping so your child can eat something on the go, or allow your child to hold a favourite toy for comfort.
Scenario Three: Mealtimes
- Mealtimes are my number one time of the day to reduce or eliminate screen time, especially if your child is a picky eater. Distracting them from the food they are eating creates negative eating habits and is best to be avoided. Instead, allow them to engage in mealtimes (even if it’s just looking at some of the food and not eating it).
- Talk about your day: family mealtimes are perfect for reflecting back on the day or talking about what’s ahead. This can develop so many skills in your child including waiting, listening, turn taking, understanding of other’s emotions and thoughts, and problem solving. Don’t be afraid to talk about things you found hard or are worried about, this shows your child it’s ok to feel this way sometimes!
- Have a learning plate. Struggling to introduce new foods to your child? Instead of giving them an iPad and shoveling it in while they aren’t looking, introduce a family learning plate. This is a plate where they are not expected to eat the food, but can look, smell, taste or touch if they would like. Exploring foods is an important step towards eating!
Photo by life is fantastic on Unsplash